Mighty Mo Owns Texas

Look, this is Texas. In the summer, we rival Hell for heat, and beat the h-e-double L outta Hell for mosquitos and chiggers (well, the chigger thing is mostly east Texas, but rattlesnakes and Mesquite thorns make up for their absence in west Texas.) In the winter, we get just enough freezing rain every year to challenge our ability to drive our SUVs 70 everywhere we go. We like our trucks monster size, our women hot, and our sports, well, football. This is not hockey country.

Every other sport is judged against the national sport of Texas. Basketball is fine once football season is over. At least it keeps us from having to watch American Idol with our wives. Baseball is ok, too, except the Rangers suck and the Astros are in Houston, and Houston sucks. But football! Football is king. Churches plan big days around the great game. Pastors cut sermons short and some churches have even decided Sunday evening services are superfluous, I am convinced, because people get suspicious when the preacher calls in sick every time the Cowboys play a late game.

Texans' three favorite sports are Cowboys football, high school football, and either Longhorns or Aggies football (depending on whether you prefer gay military cheers and girls that look like goats or the classy confines of Austin town and super-cool stylings of Burnt Orange-and-White.) We grew up playing football anywhere and everywhere we could, from asphalt streets to gravel pits. What we did not grow up doing was playing hockey. The only ice we could find was in the fridge or the cold stare we got when we dared approach the homecoming queen with a date proposition. We didn't play hockey. We didn't watch hockey. And we didn't see how any right thinking person could call Wayne Gresky "The Great One" when he never even met Bob Lilly, let alone got his ass tackled by him.

Enter Mike Modano. When the Minnesota NHL franchise decided to head south and introduce Dallas/Fort Worth to hockey, they had one ace in the hole...Mighty Mo. Singlehandedly, Modano made fans of us all. He showed us that grace, class, toughness, and speed could be demonstrated somewhere other than the gridiron. His rugged good looks and boyish grin made our women fans. His quiet voice, understated persona, and high profile female trophy bagging won over Generations X and Y. And his leadership style, his willingness to bite his tongue when mistreated by management, and get up and go again when clocked by a cheap shot won over the Baby Boomers and their parents.

Modano is our kinda guy, a Texan's Texan, even if he is from the frozen tundra of "up North." We forgive him all that. We embrace him. And we celebrate his new status as greatest American-born scorer of all freakin' time, baby!

Move over Roger. Make room, Troy. Time for Mike to join you.