Mighty Mo Owns Texas

Look, this is Texas. In the summer, we rival Hell for heat, and beat the h-e-double L outta Hell for mosquitos and chiggers (well, the chigger thing is mostly east Texas, but rattlesnakes and Mesquite thorns make up for their absence in west Texas.) In the winter, we get just enough freezing rain every year to challenge our ability to drive our SUVs 70 everywhere we go. We like our trucks monster size, our women hot, and our sports, well, football. This is not hockey country.

Every other sport is judged against the national sport of Texas. Basketball is fine once football season is over. At least it keeps us from having to watch American Idol with our wives. Baseball is ok, too, except the Rangers suck and the Astros are in Houston, and Houston sucks. But football! Football is king. Churches plan big days around the great game. Pastors cut sermons short and some churches have even decided Sunday evening services are superfluous, I am convinced, because people get suspicious when the preacher calls in sick every time the Cowboys play a late game.

Texans' three favorite sports are Cowboys football, high school football, and either Longhorns or Aggies football (depending on whether you prefer gay military cheers and girls that look like goats or the classy confines of Austin town and super-cool stylings of Burnt Orange-and-White.) We grew up playing football anywhere and everywhere we could, from asphalt streets to gravel pits. What we did not grow up doing was playing hockey. The only ice we could find was in the fridge or the cold stare we got when we dared approach the homecoming queen with a date proposition. We didn't play hockey. We didn't watch hockey. And we didn't see how any right thinking person could call Wayne Gresky "The Great One" when he never even met Bob Lilly, let alone got his ass tackled by him.

Enter Mike Modano. When the Minnesota NHL franchise decided to head south and introduce Dallas/Fort Worth to hockey, they had one ace in the hole...Mighty Mo. Singlehandedly, Modano made fans of us all. He showed us that grace, class, toughness, and speed could be demonstrated somewhere other than the gridiron. His rugged good looks and boyish grin made our women fans. His quiet voice, understated persona, and high profile female trophy bagging won over Generations X and Y. And his leadership style, his willingness to bite his tongue when mistreated by management, and get up and go again when clocked by a cheap shot won over the Baby Boomers and their parents.

Modano is our kinda guy, a Texan's Texan, even if he is from the frozen tundra of "up North." We forgive him all that. We embrace him. And we celebrate his new status as greatest American-born scorer of all freakin' time, baby!

Move over Roger. Make room, Troy. Time for Mike to join you.

Dear Dave, All Athletes Are Not Created Equal

Someone please check Dave Tippett for fever. Surely, he is delirious. How else do you explain demoting the man who is not just your best player, but your only true superstar, and the face of your franchise to the fourth line? That ought to be a fireable (is that a word?) offense!

Lookit. This notion that all athletes are created equal is just poppycock. We all know better. There are the worker bees, the stars, the superstars, and the transcendent athletes. Mike Modano, arguably the greatest American-born offensive player in NHL history, is, for the Dallas Stars at least, a transcendent player.

Whenever the Stars do a radio spot or a TV spot or a billboard, who do you think they feature? When they take a prospective free agent to dinner, which player do you think they assign to schmooze with him? When they are trying to pump up season ticket sales, who do you think they promote? Mighty Mo is more than a nice player. He is the heart and soul of that team.

It was insulting enough a couple years ago when they ripped the "C" off his chest. Now, they decide to send him a "message" by demoting him? Moronic. And that excuse about putting him down there to work on his game is just as lame. How does a scorer improve his scoring by skating with a couple guys who are barely good enough to make the ice at that level?

You don't put Joe Montana on the scout team. You don't make Walter Payton or Michael Jordan come off the bench. And you don't friggin' send Mike Modano to the fourth line. And if you do...you should be a) fired, b) closely examined, and c) committed to the loony bin.

Good thing no one in Dallas really gives a damn about hockey anyway.