A Cuban They Call Twinkle-Toes

That sudden gush of wind felt across North Texas last night was not an atmospheric belch. It was the entire the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex heaving a collective sigh of relief. You see, we have this adopted son, a billionaire with ADHD, named Mark Cuban. Whenever he opens his yap or sticks his face on national TV, we figure to take a major kick in the groin (aka, the PR department.)

Famous for his verbal brawls with NBA officials both on and off the court, for getting into mudslinging contests with players from other teams, and lawsuits with former coaches, Cuban can be a PR nightmare for any image-conscious community having to lay claim to him. That crazy hair alone is enough to raise eyebrows.

So, here is a guy worth 2.something billion, owner of a sports franchise, making a move to buy another major sports franchise, owner of the HDNet TV network, and producer of movies with nothing better to do than agree to be a contestant on Dancing With The Stars. Believe me when I say we here in Dallas figured this would be the final move to show the world that New York's super-annoying, self-promoting, weird-haired rich guy has finally been "trumped"...by a Dallas chump.

But hold the presses. Aside from that part where he kissed his fingers and smacked his own ass, Mr. Cuban represented himself quite well. Seven weeks removed from hip replacement surgery, he cut a pretty good rug. Talk about shock and awe! Could have knocked me over with a feather. He didn't say anything controversial. He mentioned his daughter and how much she was into daddy dancing with the stars. He didn't even fight with the refs when they only gave him sevens across the board!

So...relax, Dallas. Our reputation, a delicate matter ever since the Kennedy thing, is no worse for wear this morning.

As my wife smartly observed, "Cuban even fixed his hair."

Cuban's Missile Crisis

I have struggled for a long time with this question: Is Mark Cuban a genius businessman, in the vein of so many self-made billionaires, or is he the luckiest damned geek who ever lived? Is he just the computer nerd his hairstyle and twisted logic suggest? Is he crazy? Is he crazy like a fox?

One thing is sure: He can be annoying.

I have defended Cuban in these pages several times. I have lauded his success as an NBA owner. I have called out the Galloways and Bondys of the world for their incessant criticisms of the man.

But now comes word that Cuban's Internet movie company, Magnolia, is set to distribute a re-tooled verions of the controversial piece of trash called "Loose Change." This is the movie the Bushwhackers and conspiracy theorists love to tout. This is the movie that strings together a dubious chain of "evidence" to suggest that 9/11 was an inside job, that Bush and his cronies in a vast (and vast would be an understatement) conspiracy actually pulled off the attacks of 9/11 to give little George a reason to go finish the job on Saddam that big George started.

The suggestion is not just aberrant; it is abhorrant. It is dispicable. It is disgusting. It is a slap in the face to the American government, the thousands who died and/or lost loved ones on 9/11, and the subsequent thousands of American soldiers who have put themselves in harm's way.
Cuban may have some level of genius in him. But his decision to align himself in any way with this film proves unequivocally that he has no concept of the reality of public perception or the damage he may do his own cause as owner of the Dallas Mavericks.

It seems, with his failed reality show, his constant outcries, his frequent odd statements (remember, he said the Kobe rape thing would be "good" for the NBA), and his sundry ways of keeping himself in the news, that the man is an attention whore.

Well, he is bound to get some attention from this.

(Sigh.) Go, Mavs.

(See Mark Davis' opinion piece on the subject here.)

New York Writer Blasts Cuban.... YAWNNNNN!

The reading of the Filip Bondy article from the New York Daily News across local airwaves today may be generating a lot more heat than light. Bondy's article, titled "Cuban Is No-Rings Boss" is pretty much dead-on, but devious, and possibly destructive, nonetheless.
Bondy manages to draw a couple of Mavericks offside, namely Stackhouse and Jason Terry:
...If you talk to the players, they don't sound so thrilled with the man. Cuban has hijacked the national headlines. Sometimes it seems he is doing so at the expense of Nowitzki and his teammates. He is like George Steinbrenner, when The Boss was younger and at his Bossiest. A couple of the Mavericks worry that Cuban is coloring the perception of this team. Whenever Cuban screams about a call, the players somehow end up sounding like the chronic complainers.
"We don't want to give people the impression we're a whining team," Jerry Stackhouse says. "(Cuban) can be a distraction if you look at it that way. He's always going to be like that. He's not speaking for us. He's just like the fan in the 10th row. Some things are out of our control. Sometimes it does carry over.
We made a conscious decision as a team to lay off the refs."
Cuban will be there again tonight, fussing and screaming. Does the owner cost the Mavs a free throw or two?
"You get on somebody long enough, they're going to have a reaction," Jason Terry says.'

These aren't new revelations. Dirk had already, a good while back, suggested maybe Mark sit down and shut up. The players know the deal. In so many ways, Cuban is a great owner...among the best. He reaches into those deep pockets and spends the money necessary to put a talented, contending team on the floor. He gets emotionally attached, not just to his club, but to his players.
And, he's a flake.
Big deal! Give me a flaky, whiny, over-cheering, blame-shifting, ref-bashing, Stern-hating, national embarrassment Cuban over anything we have ever had in the Mav's owner's box in the past.
If the Mavs were cellar-dwellers no one would care what Cuban or his kids were doing. But they aren't. They are an elite team vying for a championship. So, everything is magnified. Their flaws, their quirks, as well as their obvious on-court dominance.
Look, I didn't grow up hating the Yankees because of Steinbrenner. Heck, I didn't even know who he was. I hated those damned Yankees because they were everything my Rangers never were. Namely, winners. Maybe New Yorkers hate it that the Mavs do what they do with flaky Cuban while their city-slickin' Knicks bring up the rear.
Why on the blessed earth would we in Dallas/Fort Worth allow national (read that, New York) perception to dictate how we feel about our teams or their owners? They don't live here. They don't want our teams to win. They still hold the whole damn lot of us accountable for JFK, for crying out loud. Does Cuban cost us a free throw? Give me a break! If he brings us a title, that is a small price to pay.