MY ASSessment of the Network NFL Teams

A good booth can enliven a humdrum game as surely as a bad one can kill the buzz on a good game. Equally important to the football consumer is the studio crew. I realize this is all purely objective, but here are my rankings of the big four, from worst to first:

4th: ESPN. They are in my basement primarily due to Korn(ball)heiser. Has there ever been a cornier, more clueless commentator on the national stage? I mean, really? Does this guy know a field goal from a field mouse? Not only is he prone to absurd observances, he brings nothing of real value to the broadcast. You can feel Jaworski's frustration growing with each passing week. Chris Berman could almost save the day, but not quite. Besides, they added the pompous, smug, know-it-all Parcells to their studio team.

3rd: CBS. Phil Simms alone is enough to lower CBS' standings, in my book. If you want some in depth analysis and personality, better look elsewhere, but if you like football for dummies by dummies, Phil's your guy. Back in the studio, Shannon sharpe has personality, but it is nearly impossible to understand him when he talks, Boomer is BORING, and Jim Brown...well, Fox doesn't miss him.

2nd: Fox. Their Sunday pregame show is always the top-rated. Adding Switzer and creating the Grumpy Old Coaches segment was genius. Jimmy Johnson brings fire, Howie Long brings class, Curt Menefee brings a steady hand at the controls, and Terry Bradshaw brings...the cornbread, I guess. Their top announcer crew of Buck and Aikman is solid. The second team featuring Daryl Johnston and Tony Siragusa is entertaining, as well.

1st. NBC. Can there be any argument, really? This is the Dream Team NBC has assembled. There is no better play-by-play caller than Al Michaels. John Madden is THE LEGEND when it comes to color analysts. He may be something of a caricature of his former self. But Old Cliched Madden is still Madden, by gum! Back at the studio...what can I say? Bob Costas is the standard, and he has 19 emmys to prove it. Add the hands-down best athlete analyst in Cris Collinsworth alongside two very strong newcomers Jerome Bettis and Tiki Barber, throw in Peter (the) King (of NFL insiders) and Keith (by God!) Olbermann and there is just no room left for debate. The song may be a little corny and Faith Hill may not pull off the tough girl thing as well as dirty, nasty Pink did. But she's right about this: "The NFL rocks on NBC."

I said there was no debate. I take it back. Of course there is room for debate. Your two cents is more than welcome, my yardbarking friend.