Birds of a Feather

When the word came down that Bill Parcells was retiring and getting the heck outta Dodge, no one was more openly celebratory than local sports anchor/radio personality/community icon Dale Hansen. On channel 8 that night, Dale exulted, "Ding Dong, the witch is dead!"

Crazy thing is they could be brothers...or at least alter egos. Ego, of course, is the key word: there was never enough room in any room Bill was in for more than one. And that had to rub Dale the wrong way. After all, wasn't he accustomed to being the crowned prince of local sports media types? Shouldn't he get exclusive one-on-one interviews? Shouldn't he be "in the loop?" He's Dale, by God, by God!

But ol' Bill didn't care about any of that. If Dale wanted to ask a question or, better still, make a statement and end it with a question mark so it almost passes for a question, he'd just have to do like the rest of the locals and show up for the Big Bill Show, held regularly at Valley Ranch.
But would Dale ever sit there with the rest of the rabble and clamor for the spotlight? Never! He's Dale.

Both Bill and Dale act as if the Cowboys were nothing before they got here. They act as if the storied franchise is nothing more than a platform upon which they can park their royal butts. Bill talks and acts as if he invented football and coaching. Dale acts as if he is the story, as if anybody would give a hoot what he had to say if he wasn't talking about things and people the masses care about.

I, for one, am glad the Cowboys never won a playoff game under the man Mike Riner accurately pegged as "The New Jersey Conman." One has the distinct impression that if he had won a Super Bowl here, the story would have been how the Cowboys became a part of his legacy, rather than he a part of theirs. Give me a break!

The guy knows football and football talent and X's and O's. No one is arguing that. He has a proven formula. Give him that, too. But his false humility is just arrogance at its worst. His combative, belittling exchanges with reporters who were by and large just doing their jobs and asking, for the most part, legitimate questions were another way of getting his sound bytes on ESPN. Which is where he is now. Which he should have never left. Which is good enough for him.
I am glad he's gone. The only thing that would have made his departure better is if he had carried Dale Hansen under one arm and Randy Galloway under the other when he left.
Galloway? That's another story.

The Witch may be dead. But what about the Ding Dong?